To be, or not... (addtional apologies to the Bard)

One of the things we have come to expect out of medical providers and the field of medicine in this the modern world, is the abiltiy to provide a cure and/or treatment for disease and sickness. I know I have addressed this issue before, but I am at it again as I find the lack of treatment the most frustrating part of my wife's illness from my point of view. The inability to do ANYTHING is unbelievably hard to deal with. Going to a doctor that specializes in parkinsonism and/or MSA is still going to get you an exam, a re-evaluation of medication from a helping with symptoms perspective, and then a pat on the back with a "see you in six months". Knowing that even if she had cancer we could be doing something, is almost too much to bear. (I am in no way making light of cancer. I realize cancer in it's many forms is still one of the largest killers of people. BUT, I am making the point that all but the smallest of percentages of cancer have some chemo, radiation, or surgical procedure that can be done to at least improve the chances of survival and/or cause a remission.)

Dealing with the incessant decline of her ability to do what we all take for granted is frustrating for all of us, especially my wife. We now have to basically feed her with every meal unless it is a simple finger food. Going to the bathroom and all that incompasses is a challenge that grows with every day. Picking up her cup from her chair side for a drink is becoming a challenge for her. We have no relief from the inexorable march of this disease. Just this morning my wife looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said "I don't want to be sick any more". I told her I would give most anything if she was not.

I have commented before that to live with someone that is on death row, so to speak, is a sobering experience. As much as I try, I cannot fathom what she is going through. Yesterday morning I was putting away in her closet some of her winter clothes while she watched. I came out of the closet and she was crying. I went to her and asked why. She sobbed to me "Will I ever wear those again?" I just hugged her.  Unless you are faced with something like she is, you would not even think that way.

I know a lot of people out there, maybe even some of the ones that might read this post, have friends, family, or even themselves, that have been saved from a horrible death by modern medicine. I know there are people now that are going through the horrors of chemo andor radiation; or facing an amputation or transplant. However, as horrible as those things are...

Be glad you do not have one of the alphabet diseases where NOTHING can be done.